A Fork in the Road

"Life is Good" as my sister, Trina, so often reminds us with her favorite T-shirts. I must agree... our life is good. We are the family that has always had a "normal" life. Day in and day out we go to school, work, piano, dance, basketball, t-ball, church, scouts. We laugh, love, and have fun. I have always been glad for our "normalcy" and have been happy to offer help to others who were having tough times. And times can be tough...really tough. Over the last few years our extended family has had their share of tough times. I have shed countless tears and offered fervent prayers for the difficulties that others have faced. I have tried to offer help, and have silently learned from other's adversity. But through it all, I have always been grateful- very grateful for the simple life that Bobby and I share.

"Ignorance is bliss" I've thought to myself many times this past month. We've been cruising along in our simple life, completely unaware of the life-changing diagnosis that was quietly invading... then on May 26, I got a phone call that changed everything. It's funny how one little word- cancer- can turn your life upside down. I'm sure I felt everything that many who have experienced this before have- how can this be? he feels fine! what's his prognosis? can he be cured? how do we tell the kids? how will we pay for this? why couldn't it have been me? where do we go from here? I can't eat, can't sleep. I love him even more when I am threatened with the thought of losing him.

Like many things in life, time is a great cure all. We've had our ups and downs since May 26, and expect to have many more as we begin this journey. Acceptance has come peacefully, and now we are ready to get this show on the road. After loads of tests, biopsies, scans, doctor visits, and one painful surgery, we are very close to getting started with chemotherapy and radiation. It's going to be tough, no doubt about it, but we are confident that everything will (eventually) be ok.

One of my dearest friends is an 8 year cancer survivor. The day after we got the diagnosis I called her, and after several minutes of me going on and on about it, she surprised me with her reply. I expected her to tell me how sorry she was, but she simply told me "You and Bobby are about to have some of the most wonderful experiences you will EVER have...you will feel Heavenly Father's love in ways that you never did before... you will know more than ever that He has a plan for you and your family." After we talked for a couple of hours I hung up feeling so much better. Thanks, Stacey. That call meant more than you'll ever know. I decided right then that I had a choice. Will I wallow in despair? Will I look for the blessings all around me? Will I try to learn from this?

A fork in the road... a point in your life where you are living life as you know it, and then suddenly you are forced to choose one way or the other. Some may disagree and say "You didn't choose cancer!" and that's very true. BUT- we will choose how cancer changes us. I have decided to make the best of it, to become stronger, better, more loving, more faithful, more focused on my Savior. That's not to say I'm not sad, scared, discouraged or overwhelmed at times. That is human nature, and I can't escape those feelings completely. But I can tell you a few things that I've already seen that have brought me to my knees in prayers of thanks- The help of my dad. Being the doctor that he is, he was the one who made us get serious about this seemingly harmless lump in his neck. If it weren't for him, we would still be "blissfully ignorant." Thanks, Dad, for saving his life. Thanks, Mom, for saving mine. Another blessing is the outpouring of love and help from extended family (and friends). It has been so comforting and wonderful to feel the love from so many of you. The timing of this is also a blessing. If we had found this out during the school year, Bobby would have most likely lost his job. Getting the diagnosis just 3 days before he was off for the summer is something else to be thankful for. Having tough talks with the kids has provided the opportunity to share our faith with them, to teach them more fully about Heavenly Father's plan, the atonement, and that our family can be forever. This will be a difficult time for them too, but I hope that they will also learn and become stronger because of it.

We have only taken the first few steps down this new road, but are hopeful. We are very pleased with our doctors so far. We have confidence in the wonderful medical technology available to us. We know we will get through this with their help, and yours.