We recently got results from Bobby's latest PET scan. One of our oncologist's office staff thought that there was some troubling results and he would need further evaluation. Our other doctor seemed much less concerned, telling us that PET scans can show a lot of false positives and that we need not worry about it. Both doctors, however, talked highly of Dr. Kaplan at Stanford, who is an ENT who exclusively treats head and neck cancers. We decided that if we could get an appointment, we would go and hope for some direction and answers to our questions. We spent hours at the cancer center last Monday, and were very pleased when Dr. Kaplan reassured us that Bobby is indeed recovering, and there is no need to pursue surgery at this time. He even said at one point that "it might be time for you to put this behind you." Music to my ears!! I know that it will be easier for me to move on and try to think of something else, or at least put cancer on the "back burner" for a while. For Bobby, I'm sure it will be much more difficult. For one thing, he still feels the effects of his treatments on a daily basis. He is still losing weight (around 30 lbs. total) because it is so difficult to eat. The nerve/circulation damage caused by the chemotherapy to his hands and feet bother him every single minute of the day. He was discouraged to hear Dr. Kaplan explain that those things can be permanent, and he may just have to live with it for the rest of his life. But, we hope it will be a nice, long, cancer-free life. I guess it is a small price to pay when your life has been spared. He is fatigued and weak, but is doing his best to live a normal life again.
This picture is very typical for him. He gets home from work and almost immediately falls asleep on the couch. He doesn't even have a chance to take off his shoes, gloves, or coat before he is knocked out.
Even though he struggles quite a bit, he really has come so far. When I look back at where we've been and what we've been through, it is really amazing to me. Bobby is truly inspirational. I know he is in pain or (at the very least) uncomfortable every moment of the day, yet no one (but me) is ever aware of it. He simply doesn't complain. He is just grateful. He does still on occasion feel depressed at the thought of not being cured, not knowing, or simply having to deal with the side effects forever, but again, largely keeps it to himself. I too, at times struggle with the unknown, but find comfort in Proverbs 3: 5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." 
