Some things never change...

...like Bobby's need to make me laugh. Despite his current situation, he seems to still find a way to get a laugh here and there to lighten things up. Here he is after his second (and hopefully last) surgery. I have found it amusing to listen to him while he is coming out of the fog of anesthesia. Both times he has asked me over and over what the doctor found, and what time it is. But I got a good laugh when he looked at me and said "I think I'll go play basketball tonight...right after I take your Zumba class."

For my next example I have to jump back to Mother's Day. Bobby did a great job of making me feel loved and appreciated that day. He had a beautiful bouquet of flowers, my favorite kind of Sees candy (there's just one that I prefer, and he got me a full box of them!), and then sent me shopping the next day all by myself to buy something new to wear to church. Then he announced that he had one more Mother's Day gift to give me, but I wouldn't get it until July. His last gift to me was that he was going to lose 10 pounds. Why? You may ask? Well, we discovered some time ago (when he lost weight) that he no longer snored, and I tell ya, it was GREAT! Over time the weight came back, and so did the snoring. I thought it was a very thoughtful gift to give me. He knows that I am frequently awakened during the night by the kids, and decided that he wasn't going to add to my sleeplessness any longer. So before anyone thinks I'm a vain, heartless wife, please know that it was all about the snoring! I absolutely adore him, no matter how much he weighs! Ok, fast forward to the end of May... we are both down about his diagnosis... we are gathering as much information from our doctors as we can... we both worry, cry, stress, etc. about the side effects that we are told he will endure. Then, out of nowhere he looks at me and says "See, I told you I'd lose ten pounds by July!"

Guess what? He lost them in June! So, that was the reason for the surgery on Tuesday. He had a feeding tube put in. Our oncologist urged us to do this to prevent too much weight loss and to help keep him hydrated. Over and over Dr. Eldaly has said that keeping him hydrated and nourished is crucial to the severity of side effects, and to his recovery. As his treatments have progressed, eating has become more difficult, and with the tube in place we hope to avoid unnecessary pain and discomfort as he continues on. I must admit- I am slightly (well completely) grossed out by the thing. As I "feed" him I just think to myself "I can't believe I'm feeding my husband through a tube!" It just doesn't seem right. But I know that I will get over this feeling soon. I will quickly get back to the "let's just do what we have to do" mentality that I have adopted over the last month.

Since the surgery was just two days ago, he is finding relief with the pain medication. He has had a couple of bouts of terrible pain, but they subsided rather quickly, and he just quietly endures. He is saddened by the "loss" of his summer, a time when we usually go camping, on vacation, enjoy the fresh fruit off our trees, swimming, and just having more time together as a family. These simple things that we so often take for granted are giving us a keen awareness now. We are just in the early stages of this fight, but I already have a new, changed perspective on life. I hope that someday soon I will be able to share Bobby's new perspective with you. He's not there yet, but I know that he will be, and it will be worth the wait.